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REDISCOVERING YOUR INTIMACY

Rain cannot make one’s bright colours fade. Please remember this beautiful sentence, because it’s accurate. It’s up to you to shine brightly in your life in general, as well as in your intimate life.

Today, I’m writing on a rather special subject. I will talk about moments we share with our partner, and the “required passage” we go through to get to know our body again after a surgery like a colostomy, a urostomy, or, in my case, an ileostomy. We need to rediscover ourselves, but mostly let our partner discover us as well. Whether it be with a long-time partner or with the other people you will be intimate with, understanding how your ostomy device works is important.

You literally let your partner see you naked with a new device on your abdomen. But when and how should we do it? When it’s pitch black? Should our partner put on a blindfold? Should we put on a blindfold? There’s no miracle solution to break the ice and face your new body. Be confident, and take all the time you need. This moment will come from you; from the image you have of yourself. So be gentle with yourself, love yourself as you are and your partner will do the same. If this isn’t the case, then you should leave your partner and move on to the next one. It’s as simple as that. You deserve to be loved and appreciated as you are. Don’t let your disease define you; let your strength and your courage define you instead. The scars resulting from the disease are proofs of your bravery and the fights that you won. You have a new life to celebrate!

I’ll admit that it takes time to go through the “required passage” I mentioned earlier. We all experience it differently, and the pace at which we go to is personal. If you went through it very quickly, take the opportunity to live in the moment and enjoy yourself! But if you need more time, take it and don’t feel bad about it.

What is certain is that this time around, stomach aches won’t steal the limelight. You will be in the middle of the action, and in control of what you feel. Now, you won’t be able to use stomach aches as an excuse anymore… you will need to switch to headaches! 

You will finally be able to let go with your new body, and develop new assets. Who knows, maybe you will try new things more, as there are no time or space constraints anymore. You can do anything!

Dare to become the woman you are deep down again, and share it from all angles with your partner. Some will definitely be new, but they are a sign of your new wisdom. Who doesn’t like novelty?

Aren’t we lucky to be able to relive this wonderful moment with the wisdom and experience we have acquired? Let your teenage girl self take over. Give yourself the right to relive your first time and rediscover how great intimate moments are. They are extremely important in a relationship.

Geneviève B. 

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