Love, cancer & ostomy

That text applies to anyone who wishes to find love.

I hope you find...

That person who will accept you despite your vulnerability;

That person who will accept you as you are and for what you are, with your baggage and your trials that make you stronger;

That person who will accompany and support you in the most difficult moments and in the evenings during which you will feel pessimistic even if you’re normally strong and optimistic;

That person who will think you’re pretty even when you wear a hospital gown for medical follow-ups or when you spend the day in pajamas, not fixed up at all because you’re tired from your chemotherapy treatments and you didn’t even have the energy and the strength to get ready in the morning;

That person who will understand that you’re off work and a little depressed or anxious sometimes to get back to a normal life... to have a routine, to go back to your job and to feel useful;

That person who will want you, with your bag and your unusual lack of self-confidence, and despite your weight loss due to your surgery;

That person who will worry about you and will come to pick you up at night because you can’t drive after your chemotherapy treatments;

That person who will prepare your bed with many pillows to make sure you sleep well when you return home after your surgery and who will wake up at night to give you your medicine when you have too much pain;

That person who will use his/her sense of humor to make you comfortable about the fact that you wear a bag;

That person who will worry about you and call you when you haven’t been in touch;

That person who will learn what you’re not able to eat in order to prepare dinner when you’re too weak to do anything... or because cooking isn’t your cup of tea;

That person who will stay with you for love and who will always be there for you, no matter what happens;

That person who will be ready to face the question of infertility related to radiotherapy and who will still decide to stay with you despite the fact he/she might have to deny his/her own fertility;

That person who will understand that your bag is full in the morning and that you have to empty it before doing anything... And yes it stinks when you empty it but ultimately it's the same as when you were defecating before;

That person who will make love to you for the first time after surgery and be nervous about hurting you or popping your bag;

That person who will talk about you to his/her family and friends and be proud to introduce you to them;

That person who will kiss each of your scars to make you feel beautiful and confident;

That person who will take a morning or a day off because you were sick all night and he/she stayed up with you or because he/she wanted to accompany you to your appointment at the hospital;

That person who will help you to change your ostomy bag when it’s the third time in one night that it has come off and you’re discouraged;

That person who will take you in their arms and hold to reassure you before surgery or treatments;

That person who will show you that he/she’s strong even if he/she’s as worried as you are;

That person who will spend his/her day in a hospital chair to accompany you while you pass your series of tests;

That person who will cheer you up by making you laugh;

That person who will wash you with a washcloth, who will help you to walk in the corridors and who will join you in your hospital bed to reassure you after surgery;

That person who will listen to all your stories on shit and who will still keep the magic and be in solidarity with you;

V - Amour cancer & stomie.jpg

Finally, I hope you find that person whom you will trust, who will love you and who will make you feel good and confident... you deserve it! I’m aware that it’s not always easy for our partners because even if we’re experiencing some trials, the people who accompany us also face these trials and it can’t be easy to support their lover, feeling helpless. When we love someone, we don’t want to see him/her suffer or be sad so it’s difficult to adapt to such a situation. Nevertheless, in my opinion, love is the act of loving and accepting a person unconditionally, for better or worse. When we love a person, we’re ready to do anything for him/her.

Be patient, you’ll eventually find the person who deserves you. You’re a wonderful person and you must never forget how much stronger your experience has made you. On the other hand, also consider the fact that we must be able to love and accept ourselves as we are before loving someone else, because we’ll never be able to love if we’re not able to love ourselves. I hope you meet that person...


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